Saturday, January 23, 2010
When It's Time to Break Up
Relationships will not always turn out the way people expect them to. Ending a relationship is never easy -- there’s always hurt, frustration, upset, and general unpleasantness. Even when both people know that they would be happier with someone else, it's human nature to procrastinate about difficult decisions. And while some couples try to patch things up, sometimes, the only solution left is breaking up.
There is no painless way to break up with a person. It will hurt her and it may also hurt you. When you decide to tell her that it's over, it's highly advisable to be courteous and have the decency to tell her to her face. Don't do it in a crowded place where she will feel more vulnerable than necessary; however, beware of breaking up with her in an overly remote area in case she loses control and resorts to violence.
Remember, some people don't handle rejection well. Breaking up with someone over the phone is probably the worst way to do it. Avoiding her all together by not answering phone calls, texts, e-mails, etc... may seem like the easy way out of the relationship; however, she’ll also get pretty upset and ruin your name among all the other ladies out there.
Remember that what you say can be taken a number of different ways. State your reasons for breaking up in a straightforward but thoughtful manner. Don’t just tell her you’re ending it, and then get up and leave. Keep in mind that it might take a few minutes for the news to sink in. Let her know that you are sorry that things haven't worked out, but never let there be any doubt that your relationship is over.
Saying things like “A part of me still loves you” or "Just give me some time to think it over” may ease her pain, but you'll only be giving her false hope that there's still a chance for it to work out and delaying the healing process. If you don’t want to be with her, then don’t count on anything less than a clear statement that the relationship is done. She may argue, cry or even make statements like "I don't understand why you're doing this," but be sure and stick to your guns and make sure you have rebuttals for all her potential comebacks.
Always be understanding, no matter how she reacts. Keep in mind that it could take some time for a woman, after being dumped, to be ready for friendship. Remember, just because the break up is okay with you does not mean that it is okay with her. Letting go of a bad relationship is never easy, but be true to your emotions and remember you are ending the relationship for YOU.