Friday, August 31, 2012
We define the "backup guy" as a guy who is more than a friend, but less than a boyfriend. He's the safe, terrifically nice guy who’s always surrounded by women that complain to him about the cold-hearted losers they're dating. He's the boyfriend substitute women call upon when all other options vanish. He's always surrounded by women who want to date someone just like him-- except they won’t date him, for whatever reason.
The following 5 signs are all giveaways that you’ve fallen into the “backup guy” trap. With a quick perusal of the list below, you should be in a good position to decipher when to continue your pursuit and when to walk away with your dignity intact.
1. She rarely return your calls
If a girl is attracted to you, she should be calling you at least once for every three times you call her. However, if you don’t hear from her for weeks or months at a time, and all of a sudden she wants to hang out, take it as she’s just bored or is between boyfriends and there’s no one else to call.
2. She regularly cancels at the last minute
It is certainly fair to cancel plans occasionally for a legitimate reason, but if she flakes on you consistently and doesn’t try to be flexible with her schedule to free up time for you, it shows that she holds little respect for you at and that she doesn't want to commit in case something better comes up.
3. She teases you along with the simple intention of keeping you around
She romantically teases you along with things like "accidental" kisses with the simple intention of keeping you around so you'll always be there to rescue her. She even allows you to sleep in her bed so she can talk to you all night long about her feelings.
4. She tells you what a great boyfriend you'd be... for some lucky girl
This is basically like saying "you have all the qualities I'm supposed to want in a guy, but for some reason I find you sexually repulsive."
5. She talks about other guys while you are with her
She asks you for advice about different men she’s attracted to and constantly tells you about all her problems with them. When a woman you're interested in becomes comfortable enough to openly talk to you about all her problems with other men and asks you for advice about the guys she’s attracted to, she doesn't see you as a potential lover--You're in the FRIEND ZONE.
At the start of a new relationship, it's easy to overlook the clear cut signs that she’ll break your heart because of genuine attraction, excitement or just the fact you’re getting some action. However, with the majority of relationships destined for failure, you need to be selective and end a sour one before too much of your time and energy has been invested. For your benefit, here are 4 signs that she’ll break your heart.
1. She was already involved when she met you
The two of you hooked up when she was dating another guy or even worse--you're dating a married woman. While it can be easy to discount logic and naysayers when you're head-over-heels in love, but sooner or later you'll realize that you'll never be able to fully trust her. After all, how do you know she wouldn't start dating someone else? A cheat is always a cheat.
2. She's close with her exes
If you meet a girl that is able to stay good friends with her exes and gets a lot of calls from a lot of guys who all seem very close to her, she'll damage you. She may have some "friends with benefits" things going on with her exes, and the fact that she finds men so disposable means that she never really builds up strong relationships anyway. If you're looking for a serious relationship, never get involved with a girl who easily switches from viewing as lovers to treating them as friends.
3. She has deep-rooted issues
Whether it's problems with alcohol, drugs, or psychological issues, if there's something in her life that you’re always second place to, this relationship is not going to last long.
4. She's very secretive and lies a lot
If your girl isn't big on telling the truth, doesn't feel guilt over her constant lies, does whatever is "easiest" to get by rather than dealing with the truth and simply tells you what you want to hear, you should end it sooner rather than later.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
So you've been trying hard to get close to a girl, and the more time the two of you spend together, the more you realize how much you actually like her. You've gotten really close to her with all the hopes of piquing her sexual interest, but somewhere along the way, you may have taken a few detours that led you right into the friend zone. So why have you ended up as friends instead of her boyfriend? Here’s why.
1. You've never asked for a date
You secretly lust for her, but instead of asking her out, you behave like a friend and never let the girl know that you have more than friendly intentions on your mind. If you like a girl, you have to make it subtly obvious that you're romantically interested in her. If your "friend" does not know you want more, then she cannot give more. Put it on the table and see what happens.
2. You voluntarily became her best friend
You became her romantic counselor, listened to every cry and pity party moment about how her last boyfriend did her wrong. You began doing things her girlfriends do with her to the point she's lost all realization of the fact that you have a package down there. You've become another sexless thing she hangs out with all the time as a platonic friend. You chose to be her shoulder to lean on, knowing you wanted to be her boyfriend all along.
3. You're way too nice and accommodating
You may be a good catch, but you can give a woman too much of yourself too soon. If you're always available for a woman at the drop of a dime, and offer zero challenge to her, you will not spark that base desire within her.
4. She's afraid to take it to the next level
It is sometimes a risk to go from being friends to being "lovers". A woman could value the friendship so much that she fears losing what the two of you have. Your friend will have to work through her fear to change this.
5. She's just not attracted to you
This is the most common scenario. She may find you funny, charming and fun to be with --but she just doesn't feel any sexual chemistry with you. Sometimes it’s just the way it is -- you don’t want to hit the sheets with every woman you meet, do you? If she‘s just not into you, you have a choice to make: Either stay her friend or move on completely.
Interested in the other side of the coin? Check out our article on The 5 Signs She Wants To Be More Than Friends.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Once you've found a great girlfriend, the last thing you want to do is lose her through a bad misstep. No one can list all the potential things that can destroy a relationship, but we can give you a heads up on the most likely causes of a breakup with these 5 relationship killers.
Cheating is the ultimate relationship killer because once someone has cheated, regaining full trust is next to impossible. The initial betrayal of finding out that a partner has strayed is often enough to leave a relationship dead, and even if a couple does try to work past the cheating, the majority of couples won't survive.
2. Always placing your career before her
Your girlfriend is likely very proud of your career success and appreciates being with an ambitious man; however, she also expects you to make time for her. If you stay late at work every night, cancel dates for last-minute business meetings, or if you choose to constantly spend time with your co-workers after work, she will come to her own conclusions about your priorities.
3. Letting Yourself Go
If your girlfriend was attracted to you when you were wearing Italian suits, chances are that's what she likes, and she may not be attracted to you if you begin wearing nothing but holey sweatpants and football jerseys. Letting yourself go tells your girlfriend that she's not important enough for you to maintain your appearance and you were just putting on a facade to attract her.
4. Not making enough time for her
If you want to keep your girlfriend around, you have to find ways to make her feel special and important. You're not a bachelor anymore, so you will have to give up time watching the game with your pals in order to spend time with together with the lady in your life. Remember, if you don't pay attention to her, a lot of other men will.
5. Being controlling
People hate to have their freedoms limited by another person or persons. Controlling behavior such as blaming, anger, rage, violence, judgment, criticism and ridicule almost always results in resentment and emotional distance.
While some dating mistakes are obvious, others can be trickier to recognize. In fact, you may not even know you’re making them. So, if you feel as if you are somehow going off track with your relationships, but aren't really sure how, check to see if you are making any of these 5 dating mistakes:
1. Talking about your ex on your dates
Talking about your ex with your dates is never a good move. Women view men that can't stop talking about their ex non-stop as having unresolved frustrations and pent-up bitterness. You don’t need to go into details about each and every past relationship you’ve ever had or how you were wronged during any date. She also doesn’t need to know exact names, dates or all the gross details about you and your ex's sex life.
2. Sharing too much information
Don't give out your resume on the first date. Some of your past is straightforward and can be discussed right then and there; however, the first date is not show and tell time.
3. Having a narrow focus
Always dating the same type of women and expecting different results is a recipe for disaster. Branch out of your dating comfort zone and give a chance to those women you haven’t previously considered (think age, looks, profession, interests). Remember that dating only women that you think of as your type has gotten you exactly where you are right now--single.
4. Expecting too much too soon
Nothing turns a woman off and sends her running away faster than a guy who starts moving too fast and expects instant attraction, love and devotion, or even instant great sex after only one or two dates.
5. Giving up power
Lots of guys try to get women to like them by doing whatever the woman wants; becoming too considerate, too helpful and too kind in an effort to seemingly align their lives with a woman’s wishes. Don't be one of them. Women don't respect pushovers and they don't feel attraction for "nice" guys who always kiss up to them.
Monday, August 20, 2012
While every woman is looking for something different in a man, there are certain types of men that women go out of their way to avoid. And this is especially true during the early stages of a relationship, when a woman is trying to gauge a man's personality. Below are eight types of guys that women consistently stay away from.
1. The Financially Irresponsible Guy
A huge red flag is a financially irresponsible man with bad credit who's constantly buying things he does not need, overdrawing his bank account(s) and maxing out credit cards. Most women don't want to deal with a guy who can't seem to rustle up enough money for a latte, pay their bills on time, or spend his money wisely.
2. The Man-Child
This guy is clinging to his glory days when life was less complicated and responsibility was minimal. He’s obsessed with video games, frequently attends keg parties and considers Pizza Rolls one of the major food groups. These men are the ones who can’t keep a job, blame everyone else for their own stupidity and laziness, and are constantly outraged that the world is not giving them respect.
3. The Narcissistic Guy
One type of attitude guys have that women avoid is being too narcissistic and self-contained. Most women feel that this type of guy is obsessed with himself and would rather spend his time toning his muscles and looking good than on a date with them.
4. The Needy Guy
Women are not attracted to the type of man who needs too much support, validation, and constant reinforcement. The moment a man becomes too insecure and dependent in a relationship, a woman will run for the hills.
5. The Wandering-Eye Guy
This type of man can be the most aggravating for women to deal with because he's constantly looking at every female but the one he’s with. He makes inappropriate comments/gestures about women, ogles the bartender, the woman at the grocery store, even his best friend's wife, making the woman he's with feel inferior and unattractive.
6. The Predictable Guy
Women don't like the routine driven guy who does not like change, lacks spontaneity, and is predictable in all areas of his life from how he will react to situations, decisions he will make, the sex he will have, and the dates he will go on.
7. The Liar
This guy fabricates stories about about pretty much anything in hopes of getting laid instead of just being honest about his life or his desire for a casual fling. While the little white lies about past conquests, jobs, exes, qualifications, and experiences may seem harmless, most women don't want to deal with a guy who can't or won't tell the truth.
8. The Desperate Guy
The desperate man may have a strong want and desire to have a relationship; however, due to having little experience in the romance and dating department, his behaviors can indicate low-self esteem and a host of other issues that turn women off and can actually be viewed as creepy and disturbing.
Interested in the other side of the coin? Check out our article on The Top 10 Types of Women to Avoid Dating.