Making The First Move

Although there are aggressive women out there, most women women shy away from being the initiators in dating. Most women like to put men up to the challenge of approaching them by not making the first move and allowing the man to step up to the plate. Women want to be pursued and desired by men, so ultimately you must have enough courage to make the first move.

Over the years, society has taught women to play hard to get for fear of being considered easy. When it comes to dating, there's no doubt that making the first move is nerve-wracking, but you must realize that women want their guys to take chances i.e., asking them out, planning the evening, kissing them when they least expect it, etc... Although going out on a limb and risking rejection is frustrating, you'll get nowhere fast if you refuse to take the initiative and make something happen. What women want is to get physical with you, and they expect that you know when to make your move.

The key to making the first move on a girl is getting in the mindset first. You want the first move to appear comfortable yet spontaneous, and with the right preparation you can! You cannot make a move on a girl from five feet away, so get your confidence up, move closer and wait for a comfortable break in the conversation with her. How do you know she’s ready? You can’t be 100 percent sure, but you can get pretty close if you just pay attention. A woman will let you know she is open to being pursued, and if she doesn't say it out loud, she might just say it by simply using body language. She will be flirting more with you and will do things like moving closer to you and leaning toward you as you speak, showing some skin, playing with her hair or touching you both accidentally and on purpose.

If she likes you, she’ll ultimately create the moment. When you are reasonably sure she’s ready, put on the moves by wrapping your arm around her shoulders. Talk about nice thoughts with her while you do this and keep her calm. If she is talking to you intimately for a while and the two of you cuddle, take her hands in yours, draw her close to you and gently kiss her on the lips.

Some women will let you take charge when they're ready. You can start by kissing her neck and gently nibbling on her lower lip. Explore her neck and face with yours and note her reactions. Let things move along slowly and build at their own pace and don't go for the goods until you've spent some time earning them! Remember, the confident man who has a proper build-up and uses good form will probably sweep her off her feet; however, the guy who is rude during conversation and immediately pulls out a condom will probably go home alone. Women control the speed of the relationship, and in most cases they decide after meeting a guy how far they are willing to go with him. So if she asks you to go some place more private (like your place) make sure you're ready.

Each woman is different, so I recommend that you carefully observe your date's actions and body language to make sure she'll be receptive to your advances. Even though you may feel sure she is sending all the signals, the last thing you want to do is scare her away by coming on too aggressively (e.g., shoving your tongue down her throat.)

If she tells you that she has an early-morning meeting, or has some relatives staying at her place, she is probably telling you that this isn’t the right time. If she is not ready and backs away, don’t get upset and let the night turn to waste. Just continue to have fun and try to make that first move again at another time.