Saturday, November 21, 2009

Dating Abusive Women

So you come in the door and greet your woman. "Hi sweetheart, I'm home. I missed you.' The response you get shows you the night is going to be long and dreadful."Where the hell have you been, your 10 minutes late you piece of trash." Then you duck as a plate or knife comes flying toward your head.

It is a widely held assumption that women are always the victims and men are always the perpetrators; however,
there is a great majority of men who suffer in silence in the face of physical abuse from their women. These men feel shame, fear, and choose to ignore the abuse and live with it. Although we live in a society where the abuse of men is not a mainstream concern, abuse is abuse and if people combat it when the victim is a woman, the same compassion should be offered to men.

Although men are usually raised with the idea that hitting women is a major no-no, there are some very cruel and abusive women in relationships who feel it’s perfectly fine to slap,
push, throw objects, force or slam doors and even use weapons against their man when he says or does something they don't like. These women with emotional baggage who are abusive toward men usually have unrealistic expectations. These women make unrealistic demands of men and feel like they can inflict any kind physical pain on their men without fear of repercussion due to the man's fear of criminal charges, losing his job, etc...

So what type of women are most likely to abuse their men?
Women who abuse men are frequently alcoholics. Many other manipulative women that display this type of behavior suffer from certain psychological problems. At least half of all domestic abuse and violence against men is associated with women who suffer from borderline personality disorder--a diagnosis that is found almost exclusively with women. These women will typically experience repeated episodes of depression, anxiety and irritability which they attribute to a man's behavior when in fact, their mental and emotional state is the result of their own insecurities, emotional problems, trauma during childhood or even withdrawal from alcohol. These women would rather blame their men for their problems rather than take responsibility for how they live their lives and typically refuse to treatment and may even insist that the man needs treatment.


So why do we know so little of domestic violence against men? First of all, violence against men statistics are so low that it is hard to get reliable estimates. Secondly, in the minds of abusive women in relationships, a man is less likely to tell someone about suffering physical violence at the hands of his woman if he believes he’ll be thought of as weak and pathetic wuss. Even when men do report domestic abuse and violence, most people are so astonished men usually end up feeling like nobody believes them.


There needs to be more support for abused men and fathers. For those men who are unfortunate enough to be in an abusive relationship remember--there is nothing to be ashamed of in reporting abuse or asking for help and it is definitely wrong to walk away from a woman who is abusing you instead of hitting her back. Doing this is an admirable trait. Hopefully, you will soon be able to walk away, along with your children, to a better future.



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